allygator'ss [:

feeling like i have a best friend. i mean like a girl best friend. i have my main best friend, who's also my boyfriend, my love, everything,

but i think a girl needs another to feel like they can tell them everything, you know? i don't know. i miss feeling like that.

i spent the day with serena and the night and both days her boyfriend was over. i know that i like spending time with my boyfriend, but i wouldn't make plans with a "best friend" i haven't seen in a long time and invite my boyfriend and have him there for both days and put my "best friend" in an awkward situation the whole time.

idk. i mean i would've understanded if he would've gone with us only on friday night and then left afterwards but then he came back to her house to watch the movies with us and idk it's awkward and uncomfortable to have a friend with her boyfriend right next to you cuddling and whispering to each other. and then today, the first thing we did was pick him up and i was literally walking behind them the whole day.

and i get that she wanted my company and i appreciate that but i think i would've enjoyed it more if i would've had a chance to actually talk to her. i could only talk to her about everything going on at night, reaally late at night, and she fell asleep while i was talking to her. so instead i stayed up till almost 5 because i'd already started thinking about things that i was telling her and ended up not being able to sleep.

i don't know, sometimes i feel so alone. it's like every other girl i know already has someone they can call their best friend and mine has a new one who she wants to see aaaalll the time instead of spending ONE DAY/NIGHT with me. now i know why whenever i would invite her over she would never come, it's because she sees him every single day and they do everything together and i don't know it makes me feel sad.

i miss summer 2007 and i miss my old friends...

i think that this one really is not my fault though. i don't want to blame anyone but i know that if she really needed me i wouldn't bring my boyfriend along the whole time i was with her. and every time i offer for her to meet my boyfriend she's always busy. i don't know. i feel so lonely.